Chronicles of a Child Witness of Domestic Abuse
Vickie L. Evans
A child depends on his/her parent for provision, protection and parental guidance. But what happens when the very one you depend on and look to for love is tainting your world with violence, fear, and abuse? I grew up in a three-person home, Mom, Dad, and me! Most people believe that an “only” child is spoiled and self-centered, but that wasn't the case with me. I was a mild-mannered, quiet, and caring child! In fact, I always attached myself to and stood up for the underdog; I described it as I had "Stray Cat syndrome". My biggest fear was when I was home alone because what happened in my home should not happen to any child! I lived in a domestic violent home! Many people have made the statement, "love doesn't hurt". But the internal scars I bore as a child witness of domestic violence “hurt me” very deeply! I wore invisible scars! I was even hit once, when I tried to intervene when my dad was beating my mom. Repeatedly, I had nightmares and subliminal dreams! Violent images haunted me for years.
Imagine being awaken in the middle of the night to screams and seeing my father’s fist pounding my mother’s face. And then, afterwards, he would attend to her wounds! My mother had many physical scars as well as emotion ones. Once, my Dad sliced both of her thighs with a butcher knife On another occasion, he threw a clay flower pot at her that made a huge gash on her hand. He also stumped her unconsciously! My mother would allow those wounds to heal with time. She rarely went to the hospital to get her wounds stitched. Undenialably, we both had some emotion wounds that were so deeply embedded that could not be seen with the physical eye but their presence were manifested loud and clear in our actions and reactions to life’s challenges and situations—but no one paid attention!
As an adult, I accepted emotionally abusive behavior from boyfriends and men alike, to include my two husbands, who I am glad to be free and divorced! Not, only am I free from my husband, I am free from the emotional abuse they caused, as well, after taking a journey back to my childhood and making an assessment of my life in order to “Unpeel”, “Reveal”, “Deal” and “Heal” from the years of emotional abuse implanted in me from witnessing countless incidents of domestic and emotional abuse. The accounts of my healing are chronologically outlined in my book, “Know Your Worth (Overcoming the Dragon of Low Self-Esteem)”.
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